Getting what we deserve

I stared anger straight in the face last week. After taking time to create a speaking presentation, the opportunity fell through at the last minute. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t happy about it. In fact, I allowed myself to marinate in my anger. Ever do that? The longer you stay in it, the stronger it seems to become. While venting my frustration to a girlfriend of mine, she said something that brought me to a screeching halt.

You didn’t deserve that!

You would think a comment like that would only fuel the flame of my anger, confirming what I felt was a complete injustice. But it didn’t. Instead it knocked the wind out of me, immediately causing tears to stream down my face.

Lord, please forgive me for thinking this is something I deserve.

I wasn’t entitled to that opportunity. It was given to me by God’s grace and taken away again by His sovereignty. Who was I to question His plan? Whatever the situation was, my only job was to trust that He had my best interest in mind. He was orchestrating something greater than I could imagine. This was not about what I deserved.

Frankly, I hope God never gives me what I deserve. I know how dark my sin nature is and where I was when I finally cried out to Him. I’m fully aware of how selfish I am in the midst of great need. I wage war with my pride every day and I lose more often than I care to admit. I don’t want to see what I would deserve based on all of that. 

This time of year seems to be overrun with entitlement. Moments spent with friends and family will either fill you to overflowing or sadly disappoint you. What if we approach this time of year without worrying about what we deserve? If we don’t create unrealistic expectations for our loved ones, then we won’t be hurt when they aren’t able to measure up to them. God gives us His mercy, grace, and love when we have done nothing to deserve it. Maybe we should just pass those same gifts onto everyone else...

Be blessed,

Jennifer

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17