With his jaw clenched and eyes glaring, my soon-to-be eighteen year old son stood in defiance.
“If you would have just made me do it, I wouldn't be in this mess!” Jordan informed me.
“I asked you to do this over and over again, but you always had a reason why you couldn't.” I explained, “Now you're feeling the pressure of putting it off.”
It's college application time in the Mersberger household. Truth be told, it's been college application time since the beginning of summer. In Jordan's busy schedule, he hasn't taken time to actually apply to the schools he'd like to attend. With the deadline looming just a few weeks away, he's beginning to feel the pressure.
As his rant continued, I began thinking about all the times I've had the same conversation with my Heavenly Father.
I complain to Him:
“Why didn't You just make me do it?”
“Why does this have to be so hard?”
“Why can't You just tell me where I'll end up?”
I hear Him answer in my spirit:
“I won't make you do something that's not in your heart to do.”
“I'm sorry it's hard. Unfortunately, you've made it harder than it needed to be.”
“I'm here to lead you if you'll let me.”
Like a teenager wrestling between freedom and dependence, I can be easily torn. I want to spread my wings and fly without giving up the comforts of my familiar nest. I want to stand on the top of the mountain but I don't want to difficulty of the climb. So why am I surprised that Jordan feels the same way?
Once he vented his frustration, Jordan and I were able to have a really good talk. Now he feels more confident in the decisions he's making and has a plan to complete everything on time. Even though some questions are left unanswered, Jordan is moving down the path again, waiting for God to direct his steps. I think I'll follow his lead...
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11